The fact is; every parent dreams of raising a successful child. We want them to be productive, prominent, and happy. Parents find this aspect of parenting a difficult one, as there has never been any hard and fast rule to it.
To parent a child is not an easy task also not hard, what makes parenting hard is high expectations, we expect too much from a child that supposes to be learning step-by-step.
Setting a child up for success is a task that has to begin early enough in other to achieve much on the child. You need to understand the fact that, your approach or designed method has to start right from the Post-natal stage to the adolescent stage. Take, for example, potty training a child early to help him understand the act of independence (In my opinion).
Here are some top tips on how to set a child up for success.
- SELF ENHANCEMENT
Invest in parenting you can never pour from an empty cup. Although parenting does not come with a manual there are professionals on this path that can help you brush your parenting skills. Be intentional about parenting your child.
Work on your mental health, what stresses you out, and the challenges in your marriage because all this can hinder setting a child up for success. Emotional crises in the parent are linked to the emotional crisis in their children.
- CREATE MEMORIES NOT EXPECTATIONS
So many parents set a high expectation for their child forgetting that the child will grow up to have a mind of his own. If the child starts to display the mind of his own, we will think parenting is hard, e4xpectations damage their self-esteem. It will make the child think low of himself because you condemn what he sees as a great achievement.
Create memories instead; document his failures to remind him of when he tries all he could to win a race, pass an exam, be a good brother or help around the house. Praise your child, be his cheerleader no matter how low or bad it is, and encourage them to do better. Appreciate them when they do a little thing for you, kiss and hug your child to show appreciation also when he accomplishes his set goals or routine.
- DO NOT FORCE YOUR CHILD TO OBEY RULES/SET BOUNDARIES INSTEAD
Is not good to be too controlling when it comes to parenting it teaches a child to be authoritarian, do not force rules on a child most especially on 6 years upward but children need boundaries to make the most of their potentials; the earlier the better.
You need to set a firm boundary but take your time to explain to your child the reasons for the rules and their consequences there may be some agreements around the rules but be persistent. For the set boundaries and consequences to be more effective you need to do it with love and kindness it will help your child understand why the rules need to be followed so, he will not follow the rule out of fear.
Setting boundaries does not mean you are strict, although your older child may say that. smile):
- ENCOURAGE SOCIAL SKILLS
Your child may be the best in class, he may be the most hardworking son or daughter, most religious or the most respectful if he does not have a good social skills it is as bad as not having all this mentioned.
Children with good social skills tend to be more successful because they fit in every aspect of work and life. Encourage your child to be helpful to others, have good communication skills, understand people’s feelings, troubleshoot and give solutions on their own, teamwork and make some decisions.
- DO NOT FORCE FOREIGN ACCENT
It is not good to impose a foreign accent on a child that is not a native speaker or lives in the environment where the accent is used, it could lead to low self-esteem and damage a child’s self-worth.
What you should focus on is your child’s communication skills, how he pronounces a certain word, uses of words, and using the right vocabulary. Accent will not lead a child to succeed in life but good communication and skills will.
- ALLOW THEM TO MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES
If you are the type of parent that picks a child’s toy, dress, food, and so on, you need to stop because this is not setting the child for success.
Allow your child to choose their dresses while going out if there is a reason you don’t want him to wear a certain dress explain it to him. Allow him to decide on the type of toy he wants, the food he wants to be on his school meal plan, and so on. Giving chance to make their own choices gives him a sense of belonging and it’s a way of learning to speak up.
- LET YOUR CHILD DO CHORES
Give your child age-appropriate chores, get him involved in the house routine start teaching him how to cook at an early start. Your three-year-old child can pack his plate and clean the table after eating while your six years can wash his plate after eating.
- “In my house, there is a rule of not dropping a dirty plate in the sink “wash as you use” I have Eight years, six years, and three years (she can’t wash but pack her plate). Sometimes, they may feel tired or low to do it I allow them to drop it and help them but they have to say thank you or reward me with a huge or sweet word”.
- FOCUS ON THE PROCESS NOT RESULT
Do not focus on the result of a new habit or set goals for your child rather focus on the process. How far he has come, his ability, and his commitment. Make sure you instill that in him “The process of working towards achieving the set goals contain more memories than the result”.
I hope some of the tips I share on How to set a child up for success will be helpful to you as it is helpful to some of my mama friends in being mom community.